What Men Need - Find Your Answer

Do you know how to meet interesting, honest people on the internet who you want to date? Are you looking for love online but are afraid you will find a loser instead? Many people face your same dilemma.

If you are single and looking for someone, you have a world of dates to choose from on the internet. But you must exercise caution.

How can you tell the difference between the imposters and the sincere people? Here are some simple rules to remember:

*Do not give your real name.

Use your dating name until you know you can trust the person you are talking to.

*Never give your address or home phone number.

If you decide to talk on the phone after chatting on line, get a prepaid cell phone so the number cannot be traced.

*Listen carefully for content.

At any point, if the person asks for or shares inappropriate information that is sexual in nature, sign off. Do not trust them.

*Is the conversation basically negative or positive?

Does the person complain a lot? Are they speaking unkindly about their Ex, boss, friends, or parents? If most of the conversation is negative in nature, this is a red flag that this person has issues they have not dealt with. If you try to have a relationship with this person, he or she will deposit this baggage on you.

*Meet in a public place.

If you agree to meet, do it in a public place, preferably in the middle of the day. Coffee houses are neutral, as well as casual restaurants. Use your own transportation to get yourself there and back.

*Take your cell phone.

It is always a good idea to have a friend call you while you are with this person. If the meeting is not going well, the call can be the interruption that you needed to excuse yourself.

*Practice safety.

ALWAYS let someone know where you are and who you are meeting. If this person is a complete stranger, you could ask a friend or two to be sitting in a nearby booth at the place where you are going to meet.

*Watch out for the bragging.

If this person sounds too good to be true…he or she probably is. If you plan to date someone you do not know well, get some kind of a background check.

Because of the internet, you have more options and choices and people to meet than ever before in history. You also have more challenges than ever before. You have to wade through all of the information to see who is real and who is pretending to be something they are not.

Be cautious, be wise, and know: there is someone wonderful searching for you. Don’t jump into the wrong relationship too quickly before the right one can find you.

Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single’s coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)

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Online dating is becoming very popular. Where as one used to look around for a prospective date through friends, one can now search for one online. Online dating offers different challenges and once you learn the art of online dating, you can get dream dates. Before you proceed further to read about success in online dating, note that facts given by people on online dating sites can be misleading. Verify the credentials and then enjoy your dating, because online dating offers a great variety of candidates.

Let us begin with your profile. Have you uploaded a smiling picture of yourself? A picture that truly represents who you are? Never upload a picture of yourself with another person. Let it be only yours and such that creates a positive impact. In your profile, have you mentioned all your positive qualities? Does your profile make you look like a desirable date? Without any lies, try to make your profile as attractive as possible.

What about writing mails to prospective dating partners? Do you copy paste a common mail and send to many at a time, or pay attention to each mail and try to make it as individual as possible. Bring some charm in your mails, so that the recipient feels that you are a genuine person looking forward to meet him/her. Mass mailing fails, because it always gives itself away.

Women, when you are dating for the first time, don’t give your home address or telephone number. Take your own vehicle and find out before hand where you will be meeting. Try to meet at a public place and avoid wearing very attractive outfits. Limit your conversation to basics and find out more about your male date. With little precaution, online dating can be a big success.

Men, try to make your lady date as comfortable as possible. Don’t act in any way that can give her different ideas. Let her feel that you are a thorough gentleman and she has nothing to worry from you. She will slowly open up. Remember that God has given us the instinct of protection. Don’t over do any thing during your first date so that the lady may feel uncomfortable. Slow and steady will win the race.

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February’s Atlantic Monthly includes a 10 page cover story about online dating. The piece focused on how more sites are mimicking the eHarmony personality test method to match members and working with experts/researchers from academia. PerfectMatch has Dr. Pepper Schwartz from University of Washington, eHarmony hired Galin Buckwalter from University of Southern California, and Chemistry.com (Match.com’s new site) has Dr. Helen Fischer from Rutgers University.

Personality Tests are the Newest Answer for Finding Love

Each researcher, whether from a psychological or sociological standpoint, explained how their personality test did a wonderful job of finding the compatibility factors to improve results. Two used the famous Myer’s Briggs Type Indicator as the basis for their work, while eHarmony’s Dr. Neil Clark Warren came up with his own methodology.

Dramatic Flaw in Research

Yet, all of this research has at least one dramatic flaw that no one is discussing: Regardless of scientific theory, the process can only work if MEN ARE WILLING TO PARTICIPATE. From my own personal experience and as a professional dating coach, I have found that men are visual when it comes to dating, not cerebral.

Will Men Fill Out the Questionnaire?

So the question becomes - how many men are willing to fill out a questionnaire with 436 or even 136 inquiries? Definitely not the same number as women. Keep in mind that 75% of the self-help books are purchased by women. Drawing a parallel from other dating avenues, Speed Dating (8MinuteDating.com, Hurrydate.com, etc.) organizers have trouble running events for the 45+ crowd since they need equal number of both sexes. No problem getting the ladies to register, just the men.

Research is Invalid

So the research in essence becomes moot or invalid. The best matching system can only be effective if both sexes are willing to participate. Just like vitamins, they only work if you are willing to take them.

Some Success for Women Under 30

I must admit that I have run into a few women who have had success with eHarmony, but they’re always under 30. It’s quite possible that younger men are more willing to invest the time to take advantage of this new science. If anyone out there has had a different experience, please let me know!

What’s a 40+ Woman to Do?

You can take one of two approaches. If you’re really sold on the matching systems these sites offer, then go ahead and sign up. But please manage your expectations of what will happen and be willing to try another approach to meet men at the same time. The other suggestion is to use the traditional larger sites like Match.com, YahooPersonals, Love on AOL, or AmericanSingles.com.

And, if you are over 55, why not try senior dating sites? Type “senior dating” into Google and see how many entries pop up! These sites are very active and aren’t just for retirees. Plus, you won’t need to worry about competing with all those younger women because they won’t be on those sites!

Use Other Methods to Find Love

I hope you’ll take my advice because I’d like to save you the shock of an eHarmony email that states: “We’re sorry, but there are no matches for you in our data base.” That’s because there aren’t enough men, not because you are unmatchable! Steer clear of sites that use personality tests and try other methods to find the love you want and deserve.

To learn more about heightening your feminine charm and highly effective, proven techniques to find love, visit http://www.NeverTooLate.biz Subscribe to the f*r*e*e bi-weekly newsletter Kiss & Tell and check out the book MANifesting Mr. Right: It’s Never Too Late to Find the Love You Want by Dating Coach and expert Ronnie Ann Ryan at http://www.ManifestingMrRight.com

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